It’s more two weekly as I don’t think I did one last week. Although I have been keeping up with blogtober, yay me! It’s hard to find new things to blog about when you are pretty much housebound. This week however, I have been out much more than usual and today I think I need a home day. I need to time to find new energy or I easily burn out.
This is all at the forefront of my mind as yesterday was World Mental Health Awareness Day. I have OCD, Body Dysmorphia, mixed anxiety and depression. I also have a tentative emotionally unstable personality disorder but I got that diagnosis for a psychiatrist I only met once. On top of it all, I have a recent diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome (which I know isn’t a mental health condition but it impacts my mental health). I take 4 tablets of a mix of anti depressants, mood stabilizers and anti psychotics twice a day. I talk about this because it’s not obvious when people meet me. They may think I’m quiet or shy but they don’t know the sheer amount of effort it takes for me to leave the house and socialising is horrific for me. My husband understands but I don’t think my family and friends understand. They think it’s a simple matter of “getting over it” and “making an effort”. I wish it was just that, I wish it was just that easy. I have a family meal next week and I’m dreading it. I feel ugly because of the body dysmorphia, I have a phobia of putting make up but feel ugly without, and I feel fat because of the weight I’ve put on because of my anti-psychotics. Anyway….this blog has helped me. I don’t have to talk about it, I don’t want to talk about it most of the time. Instead I can concentrate on reviews and the things I like and fall into other peoples worlds when I read the other blogs on here. It is without a doubt one of the most positive things I have done for mental health self care. I find it gives me a push to find content. This helps me leave the house. It gives me focus and a sense of purpose. It’s lovely when people respond to my posts because I’m isolated so much of the time…so thank you to everyone who reads and those who respond….you have no idea how much it helps me 🙂
I’ve been keeping up with my 31 days of horror….maybe not keeping religiously to the list I posted. However, I have watched a horror movie every day so far. Although, I am feeling a little disillusioned at the moment because the recent ones I’ve watched have been underwhelming. I haven’t reviewed the last few. I might yet but a couple have made me want to turn off half way through. We watched Children of the Corn. I remember it being scary, the bit when he who walks behind the row burrows under the ground. Then I remember I was 7 when it came out so probably maybe 12 when I watched it. Me and the boy had a good laugh over the effects….which were surprisingly bad. However, the story was still good and the characters of Malakai and Isaac memorable. We watched Children of the Corn 2, the next night…which was unmemorable. We watched Family Blood, a vampire movie…which features vampirism as a form of addiction. It was slow going. As was Haunt (2014), which we watched last night. I don’t know if we’ve just watched all the good ones already or we’ve become horror jaded (oh the horror at such a thought). We have American Horror Story tonight…which we are enjoying but have had the conversation of how the recent ones just aren’t as good as Murder House and Freak Show.