Movie Review: All Through the House (2016)

 

Five year old Jamie Garrett was disappeared from her room. That was fifteen years ago and now horror strikes the town again. A masked Santa is brutally murdering women and castrating men. Rachel Kimmel has come home for Christmas and finds herself in the middle of the horror.

There’s a distinctly 80’s vibe about this movie. You know those terrible 80’s movies that were so bad  they were good? Kind of like that but less of the good. The acting is pretty terrible. The deaths became samey, but then they will if the killer only uses a pair of garden shears. There was lots of blood spurting from mouths. There were also lots of boobs. Jamie’s mum is very scary with her house full of mannequins. The boyfriend googling information and relaying it over the phone was very convenient, what happened to the data protection act. I miss the days when people would make the effort of going to the library and use the microfilms to read old newspapers. These kids don’t even make an effort. It’s a small town, surely everyone would have been talking about Jamie’s dad going to prison? These things don’t get forgotten. The police must need to go back to police school because apparently “He did it” is enough to send someone to jail and when Rachel’s mum disappeared, well nobody looked for her very hard. The boy says the acting is cardboard and the fight scene was just “ewww”. When he says ewww he means “meh”. It was obvious where one character was pausing for the other to make their move.

In my opinion this movie is a bag of peni and only a 3/10. If you like your cheese ball 80’s horror, there are a number of unintentional laughs and may be worth watching for that.

About thewytchinghourblog

I'm a horror loving librarian with the need to share reviews of everything horror, gore and spooky related. I'm an avid reader of books, mainly horror, definitely supernatural. I'm a pagan and like to define myself as an eclectic witch. Halloween/Samhain is my favourite time of year from everything pumpkin spiced, the scent of decay and the veil between worlds thinning. So, here we are to share all things blood splattered, things that go bump in the night and crawl out of the darkness.
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